Bushwalking/Hiking Etiquette or How to make friends in the Bush (The Unofficial List!)

So, here’s my tips for creating a bunch of happy campers aka The UNOFFICIAL list of Bushwalking or Hiking Etiquette:

1. Don’t be late

For the leader who has planned out the walk, they may have calculated times for all sorts of things, including returning to cars/making camp by sunset or witnessing the once annual mating call of the Southern Yellow Crested Tit* that can only be heard when facing 178 degrees south at 11.57 am on the peak of Tit Hill. This type of thing is even more important if they’ve had to take things like tidal charts into consideration if crossing river mouths or walking along edges of tidal rivers/streams/beaches. What with modern technology as it is, a call or sms is appropriate if going to be late. In the circles I move in, it’s readily accepted that you wait for 15 minutes at the start for someone, then leave.

2. Ready and raring to go

Being on time isn’t just about turning up at the start point, it means being ready to start at that time. I’ve had some people turn up for a walk and need to change clothes, call their Mum, eat breakfast, etc whilst everyone else is waiting.

3. 1 2 3 4 5 – 6 7 8 9 10 – 11 12

Our National Parks and Wilderness Areas are pretty special. It’s for this reason (and safety) that there are rules around the size of groups allowed out at the same time. Generally speaking, in Aussie National Parks it’s 12 people and 8 in Wilderness Areas. There are some very grey (I call them dodgy) times where some people believe it is OK to split the group up if they’re over subscribed. I’m not a fan of this.

4. Burn baby burn

It’s a given that you never leave any rubbish anywhere in the bush. What’s not a given, is everyones feelings about what is acceptable to burn on a fire (if you’re having one). Some people are happy to burn plastic (green smoke and all), whereas others will let out a shrill cry if you so far as waft your noodle packet near the sacred flame. Simply ask before you burn… oh and always wait until people have finished cooking before burning.

5. So long and thanks for all the fish

If you’re taking tins of tuna or other fish, a handy way to stop the stink is to burn the insides of the tins on the fire. Just don’t forget to dig your tin out of the ashes in the morning, along with any other bits of foil.

6. No-one likes a gate crasher

Generally speaking, National Parks in NSW have a party limit of 12 and declared Wilderness areas of 8. This means, your Leader is probably keeping a close eye on the number of people booked on their trip. So if you’ve booked and then pulled out, don’t just turn up – not such a nice surprise!

7. No-one likes a scab

One of the great things about bushwalking/hiking, is discovering how to be self sufficient in the wilderness. So always plan to bring all your own stuff or share food/tents/fly’s, etc with others BEFORE the trip. Don’t turn up at camp and announce, ‘Who am I sharing with?’ or ‘Does anyone have any spare food?’

8. Leeches – The gift that keeps on taking

When removing leeches, make sure you throw them a good distance away from other people. Then move on promptly.

9. The fish was ‘this’ big

… and I’m ‘this’ fit. Don’t over-estimate your fitness and experience in the bush. If it’s been a year since you’ve been out bushwalking, let your leader know. Oh and going to the gym once or twice a week, does not mean that you’re pack fit for bushwalking for 9 hours on rough tracks. Also, be honest with your leader. If you’re struggling – tell them early.

10. No-one likes a tight arse

Some bushwalkers are notorious tight wads. So if you’ve been lucky enough to grab a lift in someone’s car – offer them a reasonable amount of cash towards the petrol and running costs. If they won’t accept it, maybe consider popping it into their glove box for a treat when they least expect it.

11. Say Cheese

Most people are keen on taking a couple of photos on their bushwalks. But there is a limit… like the time when I was in a party escorting a group in difficulty back to their cars (the other half were lost in the Kanangra-Boyd Wilderness and I’d activated a Police Search) and one of their party was stopping to take photos… lots of them. Simply be aware of the rest of your party. If everyone else isn’t taking a cazillion of shots – then maybe you should tone it down too.

12. Karma-Tentra or Tentra-Sutra

You know that really awkward moment when you bump into your neighbour at the letterboxes, the day after you’ve heard them having really loud and presumably athletic sex during the night? Now, imagine the side-ways glances around the breakfast fire or during the day when everyone heard you going for it through the night. So perhaps either exercise the “Boarding School cone-of-silence” or Catholic School abstinence, to avoid the call of ‘AWKWARD”!

13. Shout out loud

Everyone likes to feel appreciated, so why not buy the Leader/organiser a drink or meal if you stop somewhere on the way home.

14. Beans means you’re at the back

There’s nothing quite like taking a big deep breath of fresh, wilderness air – Ahhhhh. Unless the person in front of you has been adding to the planet’s methane levels for the last 2 hrs. Of course, it’s better out than in, so if you know you’re having a bit of a windy day down there… volunteer to be ‘Tail End Charlie/Charlene’. If you’re really interested, there’s research that says runners (and other athletes) produce more farts than non-athletes.

15. Smoking in the bush:

Even worse than a lung full of fluffy intestinal-air-pillows is a tasty gulp of tobacco. If you’re addicted and feel the need to smoke when in the bush, use a patch or please move down-wind from everyone, at a good distance away and carry your butts out in an old film canister or similar. And if you are someone who has a penchant for, ‘the green, green grass of home’, remember that quite a few people don’t appreciate another dope on the trip.

16. Responsibility of the Flickee

… not the Flicker to ensure that you’re not hit in the face with a branch that springs back. You shouldn’t walk so close to the person in front ie. it’s your fault if you cop a mouthful/eyeful/faceful of flora.

17. Stick it to em

Along the same lines as above, if the person in front is using walking poles, watch out! However, on this one, there is a bit of responsibility on the Pole-er to ensure they use them correctly and don’t wave them about with no clue.

18. Windows to the Soul

Sure, you’ve got two of them, but your eyes are so precious and fragile and damage to your eyes in the bush is tricky to treat. If you’re planning on walking through scrub off-track, especially in areas notorious for the spiky and thorny forms of Hakea, wearing a pair of safety glasses is a great way to protect yourself.

19. Draw breath

Everyone walks for different reasons. The niche group of solo walkers enjoy the silence and solitude. If you’re a ‘walker n’ talker’, consider that not everyone needs to hear your voice all day. If you keep talking, you might find your leader suddenly changing course to ascend a 1000m climb, just to shut you up.

20. Mobile Phones

If there’s no reason for you to be contacted for important reasons on a walk, please switch them to silent or turn them off. If you’re on call for work or family reasons, just an explanation to everyone at the start might be appreciated by some. Also, a subtle ring-tone might be good, rather than having a bit of GaGa suddenly sprout from your pack in the middle of a quiet rainforest moment.

21. I hate the music

Some people don’t like these at all on walks. But I feel that if the volume isn’t loud enough for others to hear, why should they care if someone wants to listen to music rather than their chatter? On a recent trip up Perry’s Lookdown someone brought out the tunes to help them keep a rhythm and get up quicker. Great idea. Likewise on an extended trip with a lot of road bashing, I’ve been known to listen to podcasts or audio books to pass the time.

22. You’ve been warned

There’s nothing worse than realising that everyone is ready to leave the lunch spot and you still need to pee, re-apply sunscreen, finish reading The Odyssey. The leader should call a 5 minute warning before expecting everyone to be up and walking again. Even better, establish the duration of a rest at the start, eg: “We’ll be having a 40 minute break for lunch”, and then call a series of warnings at 10 mins, 5 mins, etc

23. Make the hour happy

By now you’ve realised that I’m a big fan of happy hour. That time when you can kick back in front of the fire and chill out after a great day outdoors. Bring a nibble to share with the group and before you know it, you’ll have no room for dinner.

24. Deer in headlights

When you’re new to wearing a head torch, it’s easy to forget that when you look up to speak with someone (it seems to happen most around the fire or when cooking dinner), you’re shining the torch right into their eyes. Unless you’re a qualified Opthalmologist who does this sort of caper for a living, please desist.

25. Yes, you smell

It’s a bit of a tradition in my club to head to the nearest pub for a meal and a shandy after a walk. We’ve been known to be shunned from some establishments when we appear covered in leech blood and charcoal after walking through burnt out spots, so it’s a good idea to keep a change of clothes in the car. Whilst you’re at it, a small hand towel and a chux is a good idea along with a bottle of water. Oh… and if you’ve been lucky enough to get a lift with someone in their car, it is always a good idea to change before putting your stinky, dirty, bloody body into their car.

26. Water, water everywhere

Keep a bottle of water in your car for times when you return after a trip and have run out of water. This is also handy to use with the towel and chux for a bit of a cleanup before hitting the pub.

* If anyone has ever seen (or heard) a Southern Yellow Crested Tit, I’d love to know.